milli vanilli

Back in the 8th grade I was part of a lip synch contest with a couple of my friends. We came up with this idea to choreograph our lip synch to the music of Milli Vanilli. I won't beat around the bush. I thought it was a brilliant idea. In fact, I still chortle deep within at the thought of three Jr. High guys dancing and doing a lip synch to the tune of the two most scandalous lip synch kings in contemporary pop history. Apparently the irony was lost on my pre-teen peers. (We got second place- lost to a Michael Jackson act by a nose... then Jacko lost his nose!)

Anyway, I was thinking about the whole matter of this farce. Milli Vanilli won a Grammy by moving their lips to another guy's music. We gather around our TVs to see which person will take home the grand-daddy of all knick-knacks for portraying someone else's perception of someone else's life. We eat fake food every day then sit down to watch produced shows about a stranger's false "reality." We are hooked on farce! The biggest fear I have is that the greatest farce is being played out in the churches of America. Do we really worship God? Do we really love one another as we do ourselves? Do we really bring to our Savior the firstfruits of all we are and do? Do we really care, even a little bit, about the orphan and widow and poor and imprisoned? Do we really believe that what God says in his Word is truth? Or are we playing roles in a play that will earn us respect from our peers and ease our consciences just enough to go back to enjoying our sinful lives? Is this life just a stained-glass masquerade, as the band Casting Crowns put it?

God is true. His power is real. His will is sure. His expectations are firm. His love is steadfast. We need to quit doing our choreographed, mass marketed, nip-tuck, lip synch. We can not afford to continue giving lip service to the Body of Christ, to the Word of God, and to the power of the Holy Spirit. Lives are on the line.

prejudice

I really just do not have any clue what the future holds for me. Not a clue. No idea. I wish I had some semblance of an idea as to where God is directing my path, but I can not figure it out. It's not for a lack of trying to understand where he's leading me, but the definites are simply elusive to my perception. Quite simply, I don't think God desires that we see our future. We are to have faith today and a hope for tomorrow. All we are to do is be faithful- obedient to him now. The future will come in due time. Yet, in knowing this, I still desire to forge a future and see the way ahead of me. But when I work to determine my path I find that, more often than not, I encroach upon the will of God by setting my own priorities. I end up off track- frustrated, exhausted, and steeped in the mire of my sinfulness. I guess you could say that I find myself in the belly of a fish.

I've never really understood Jonah. As long as I have been able to understand what was contained in the account of his life, I have been angered by Jonah and the prejudice he embodied. He so despised the Ninevites that he would rather see them die and dwell in the pit of Hell than to see them repent and receive the grace of God. I used to read the tale of this bigot prophet and become maligned at his indifference toward his fellow man. Over time I have come to look at this Scripture with new eyes. Contemporary cinema has been a mighty tool to open my eyes. Films such as Hotel Rwanda, Schindler's List, Crash, and Paper Clips have all worked their way into my heart. It is possible to view such films as masterful storytelling trough a visual medium, then dismiss them as being an instrument of entertainment (no matter how heart-wrenching it is). However, as the Spirit of God continues to mold the stubborn heart and mind of this man into the tenacious tenderness of the Lord, a change occurs in perspective.

I didn't realize such a change was taking place until recently. All my life I have thought of myself as a man without prejudice. I view myself as a man who just loves no matter the race, financial bracket, faith background, etc... All along I may have been loving toward people, but there was just something else that wasn't quite right. I didn't understand until I was hit between the eyes with my own words during a counseling session with an inpatient recovery client. I used the language of 'me' and 'them.' I attempted to separate myself from these addicts. I did so in such a benign way that perhaps nobody would have noticed or even said a word, but God realized that there was a prejudice in my heart. Somehow I thought I was better because I am not addicted to crack or heroine or alcohol, or whatever. I thought I was better than 'those sinners.' Oh and I had pity on them. Watch me as I lovingly bring light into their ill lives. How disgusting the thought! Please understand that I certainly I would never have openly expressed such terrible thoughts. In honesty, I had never really realized these thoughts fully in my consciousness. I think we often don't even think what we truly have believed because the thoughts are so deeply seated within our hearts. Yet God saw these thoughts in my wicked, deceitful, little heart. I praise Him for showing to me my sin.

God has me in recovery. I am an addict. I wake up and can't wait to get my fix. I get high on my accomplishments. I desire my own good above all other priorities. I have sacrificed the feelings and needs of others to feed the desires of myself. I delight in the indulgence of my cravings after too much food, too many movies, too many possessions, and too few responsibilities. I am no different than the men in rehab. All of us are learning that we can not be in control of our own lives. We need God to direct us and give us the strength to live one day at a time. We are in need of a savior. Thank God that He is slow to anger and abounding in love. He has shown us grace and delivered us from our sins! I guess I say all of this to express the fact that I understand Jonah better now than ever before. Just the fact that I was angered by his story shows the wickedness of the bigotry in my heart. I still don't know what tomorrow has in store for me. I can't control it anyway. Neither can you. Stop trying. Live today and seek after the path of God. Love your neighbor as yourself. Love your neighbor as yourself. It just seems to continue to grow in meaning as I continue to love God.

highlander grog

Just wanted to show y'all my coffee shoppe of choice in Olde St. Charles. Right don on the corner of Main and Jefferson, only a block off of the waterfront, is Picasso's. Friendly staff, cozy surroundings, good music, and caffeinated coffee. Yow! That's a good time in my book. Here are some pitures of the shoppe and of my favorite caffeinated beverage distribution specialists (a.k.a. baristas). They've got this cool thing called a brew bar. They will brew you a fresh cup of your favorite coffee blend right before you... not old stuff from the pot for Greggy-boy. No sir! If you find yourself at Picasso's, try the grog- it's good stuff.

by the way...

I miss my nieces. Not that I don't miss the rest of my family and friends, I just happen to miss them a whole heck of a lot! Well, wouldn't you? I love you girls.

rhythm

I just finished watching the movie "Shall We Dance" and it has me thinking. So I'll get on with this... Since you're reading this, you likely know me. But if you don't know me, you should know that I'm not the most coordinated guy in the world. Dance is not my forte. And I don't exactly exude sensuality. Hmmmmmm. Yet there is something in me, in fact, there is something in us all that beats with the rhythm of this life.

We watch "Shall We Dance" or "Dancing with the Stars" or even MTV and we are somehow moved. We want to sing, we want to dance, we want to share in the pulse of culture. Sure it's natural to want to tap your toe to a catchy tune, but I think there may be something much deeper than a bass drum that gets us going. I think that there is a rhythm.. a flow to this life that is in tune with an extracosmic source- namely God.

Whether you believe it was thousands or billions of years ago, God at one time set all things into motion. There, in the formlessness of pre-time, He started a song. Yes, I believe that God is a poet- a songwriter, if you will. God started everything off slowly, almost waltz-like, by speaking his Word and letting his Spirit dance over the deep. Ever notice how dancers, the really great ones, seem to float? You could say they almost hover about the dancefloor. Anyway... God strikes up the band and begins this supernatural dance. Like any great band leader, better than Goodman or Miller or Welk, God moves things along in perfect timing... and it was good (He said so.) But what is music if there is no one to jump, jive, and wail? What good is a beat if there is nothing to move? So God created the first dancer. He was good. Naked, and good. He was as close to perfect as any mere man could be. This man moved gracefully in time with the measure and rhyme of the holy will. But there was a need. A dancer must have a partner. Man and woman, dancing together in the idyllic garden to the sweet melody of beauty and life and God, what could be more perfect? (God is romantic, He must be.) This is the way life is intended to be. We live in harmony with each other and move in tune with the will of the Creator and we worship him with each step we take as we dance to the song He sings over us. Do you realize that even the mountains and the trees and the whole of the earth sings praise to God on High? This is how life is supposed to be. But it just isn't is it?

Those first dancers- the ones in the Garden- tripped. They stumbled and lost the beat of the music amidst the clanging clatter of their own passions. Those original dancers were thrown out of the garden and forgot the steps to the dance. This is how the world continued on for generations. People feel a beat inside of them. They write song after song, all in vain. They dance dances that they think are new, but there is indeed nothing new under the sun. We all stumble about in the disturbing dissonance of darkness until there came something new. No, not new at all, just unfamiliar. The Creator of the song came to dwell with us to dance for us and with us and teach us again the steps to the dance. He came and made all things new. He took from us the responsibility for the missed steps and gave to us the freedom of a song that is both new and old simultaneously. It's a Jesus Remix of sorts. All it takes to join in the dance is to let the Lord of that Dance lead you. I'm not talking about Michael Flatley here. Seriously. Why are you still flailing about in the shadows? It's time to step onto the floor... into the spotlight... and join in the dance of the ages.

simple love

After I was done writing that last entry I thought about something... Love doesn't have to be confined to elaborate acts of extravagance. Sometimes the most touching acts of love are the most simple, random, or impulsive. This last week I was at a shopping outlet (that shall remain nameless because I'm not getting paid to do any sponsorship or endorsements) when I saw a mid-aged woman working at one of the counters. She looked exhausted, but still kept a smile on her face. I would usually just keep to myself and find my items (y'know, because my time is so precious and my shopping needs are terribly pressing). This day I heard that little voice inside my heart or head or wherever telling me to just say something. I stopped and complimented her on her lovely smile. Just that. Complimented her and moved on. Nothing much, but you should have seen the way her smile became even larger! She glowed (and became quite red). I don't want to overstate anything, but I know that her response to this simple act made my day. I hope that he brightened hers as well. I think that loving others as God does is often gifted in the smallest acts of courtesy, delight, and affection. So, go... Love someone extravagantly (in the simple ways).

I AM in recovery

I am constantly amazed at God. Did you know that he's really stinkin' cool? I think there is no greater power in all the earth than the mighty power of the love of God. When we love people in such way as to resemble the love of Christ, amazing stuff starts happening. I think that the most significant obstacle in achieving the advancement of the Kingdom of God is simply trying to aid the Kingdom in our own will, wisdom, and power. When we love people as we love people there will certainly be failure, but when we love in the overflow of Christ's heart through the Spirit the world can be changed. God is touching lives at Bridgeway through the vessels of Crosswinds counselors who are being faithful to God in heaping love upon those who desperately need it. We are seeing people place their lives and their trust in the hands of Christ. They are turning away from finding themselves at the bottom of a bottle and seeking a new identity in Jesus. This is an amazing thing!

I hear some people ask where the power of God is today. I believe that if we are not loving people as Christ would, we will not see his great power. (This is more than a simple sidenote... We can not love people as Christ would while living in the ways of the world. We are called to be holy and righteous. We must live as Christ does in order to love as Christ does. We are changed in receiving the love of Jesus just as others are changed through receiving the love of Jesus through us. It's not rocket science, but it can be tough sometimes.) God is doing cool things in the St. Charles area. We just need to go with flow of that wonderful river of living water. God is present at Bridgeway. He is in the business of Life Recovery.

ulcer

I just returned home from a Celebrate Recovery meeting at Bridgeway. What can I say? I'm absolutely jazzed about what God is doing there. I spent half of the day worrying about how the meeting was going to go. I wasn't familiar with the material and hadn't had much time to look it over, I didn't feel mentally or spiritually or emotionally prepared, and I was feeling the weight of being Christ's representative on Earth to the men of this program. To be honest, I didn't feel like I was in a really good place heading into the meeting. The wild thing is that God provided time for me to look over the materials and establish what I thought was important to the meeting.

We got started and God took over.

We only discussed a fraction of what I had planned and still found ourselves flowing over our timeslot. We talked about the need to establish that God is control of our lives and that no measure of worry about something will ever bring us control or bring change to a situation. Interesting... though I looked at the material, "learned" it in order to "teach" it, and even prepared examples to describe it... I still didn't really see and know this truth until we hopped into the trenches with the men in recovery. Wouldn't you know that I was missing the point all the way until one of the clients quoted Proverbs 3:5-6 (Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.) Who's "teaching" who?

Here's what I'm trying to say... I can be a truly dense guy. So often God has to repeatedly pound me over the head with his truth before I start to get a glimpse of what he's telling me. He wants me to relinquish this feeble grip I have on my life and permit him to take his rightful place as Lord over me. He is the one... the only one... who can do anything with this vessel. I thank God that he has brought me to Missouri and to Bridgeway so that I may learn his ways. It can be a tough road to travel in learning how to live beyond who I naturally am, but God is faithful and his word is true. If I allow myself to be crucified with Christ ( letting go of my anxieties, fears, and pride), it is guaranteed that people will see more of Christ as he is the one who is living in me.

See, I told you I'm dense.

you can help

Those of you who are reading this and truly know me understand that this is uncharacteristic of me to do this, but I can already see the need for help in this ministry to patients of addiction rehabilitation. Our church is small and could quickly exhaust its resources in providing the necessary materials to these men and women.
If you are reading about the accounts of ministry here in the St. Louis area and you desire to help our church provide the materials the recovery clients need (bibles, study guides, Celebrate Recovery books, etc...) please send your contributions (made out to Crosswinds Church and designated for ATR or Recovery ministry in your memo) to the following address: Crosswinds Church /P.O. Box 1386 /St. Charles, MO 63302. As always, I hope that you will join me in ministry through your prayers. The prayers of God's people will impact this ministry in ways none of us could possibly comprehend.

i am in recovery

I had my first (and second) pastoral assessment session today at Bridgeway Counseling Services. In some ways I wasn't really sure of what it would be like to sit down and talk with these guys. The men we're trying to help seem to often be guys who are at the end of the rope. They need help now or they will go to prison or maybe they'll overdose. There's potential that they could hurt someone or themselves if not for the help they receive. Some of these men stand to lose everything. Many of them already have lost all they have and care about. Some of the guys get it and, I believe, want to make a change in their lives. Some of them think they can manage things and are only willing to go through the motions in order to get out and start using again. The interesting thing... the thing I wasn't expecting was that I thought that I would pity these men. Instead, though I've never taken drugs and haven't ever abused alcohol, I somehow feel like one of them.

I mean, really... who isn't in Life Recovery? How many times have I been like one of the men who refuses to give everything over to God with the thought that I can manage my own sin? The Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous aren't simply pulled out of thin air. Truly, they have biblical foundation (I'll likely discuss the 12 Steps as time goes on). In fact, I believe that every Christian would do a great service to their spiritual walk by exploring the 12 Steps and seeing how they apply to his or her own life. I say all of this to come to this point. What makes one man better than another? Is it not true that there is nothing that distinguishes man from man? Is it not true that my sin is not any more or less sin, a disobedience of my being to the will and good pleasure of God, than any man or woman in addiction recovery or teaching a 4th grade class or incarcerated or walking the aisles of Target?

Sin is sin... only Christ distinguishes saint from sinner. It is only by his blood that I have been purchased and by his stripes that I have been healed. Please pray that I (along with the other pastoral counselors) may help the patients of Bridgeway understand these fundamentals of a new life in Christ.