possibly pointless posting
I wish I had something to say. In fact, there's much I would love to spill out, but I just can't. Not that I'm not willing to share what's on my mind, but I just can't. For some reason I can't sort everything out tonight and voice my thoughts, feelings, and opinions in coherent ways.
My mind is a jumble and my heart is a wreck. I feel like a cluttered mass of insecurity, confusion, pride, loneliness, joy, sorrow, delight, clarity, faith, doubt, pain, passion, and apathy... just to spit out a few descriptors.
I'm a walking, sitting, breathing oxymoron right now. I feel as if there should be an emphasis on the "moron." Why? I haven't the slightest clue. I just feel like a mess.
I'm sorry to say that I haven't anything useful to say. All I have to offer right now is the sputtering of some words. I guess I feel like it's somehow important for me to write this stuff out. Maybe it's only valuable for my own faith and well-being. I don't know. I struggle. A lot. But despite my thoughts and feelings, I know that I am loved and redeemed by Jesus Christ. When I feel like I am of no value, I hear his voice speak purpose into my life.
That's all.
My mind is a jumble and my heart is a wreck. I feel like a cluttered mass of insecurity, confusion, pride, loneliness, joy, sorrow, delight, clarity, faith, doubt, pain, passion, and apathy... just to spit out a few descriptors.
I'm a walking, sitting, breathing oxymoron right now. I feel as if there should be an emphasis on the "moron." Why? I haven't the slightest clue. I just feel like a mess.
I'm sorry to say that I haven't anything useful to say. All I have to offer right now is the sputtering of some words. I guess I feel like it's somehow important for me to write this stuff out. Maybe it's only valuable for my own faith and well-being. I don't know. I struggle. A lot. But despite my thoughts and feelings, I know that I am loved and redeemed by Jesus Christ. When I feel like I am of no value, I hear his voice speak purpose into my life.
That's all.
posted by Gregg @ 9:55 PM
3 Comments:
At 28/4/06 8:23 AM,
Beth said…
Been there.
At 30/4/06 8:07 AM,
Anonymous said…
Just to let you know Gregg, you've never been worthless or have any reason to doubt your self-worth or esteem. Being one of those that knows the person that you are and the place God has created for you I can certainly guarantee there is no reason to doubt any part of that! Having nothing to say, but plenty of words is my speciality..having no words, but plenty to say is yours! Be still and know Gregg, Be still and know!
At 1/5/06 12:33 PM,
Anonymous said…
you are blessed because you FEEL and HAVE thoughts to be jumbled up and all messy. that is a true sign of growth and learning...being molded by the potter who has a picture in mind of the finish product. in a way i envy your jumbled thoughts and feelings. there are seasons when we feel nothing. i know that all too well. take heart.
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