occupied

I was struck (again) by a song today. It stopped me in my tracks and brought tears to my eyes. The Presence of God washed over me in peace as I heard a reminder that He indeed is near and truly involved in my life. As I prepared to write this, I pulled together a brief playlist to worship to. Here are the songs included:

Who Am I --- Casting Crowns
Sometimes Love --- Chris Rice
How Deep The Father's Love --- Stuart Townend
He Knows My Name --- Tommy Walker

These songs aren't anything new. They've been around for a while now. But the truth of the Word is found in them indelibly. I wish I could express this in some more eloquent way, but I am simply stirred by the reality of God's intricate touch in me- His creation.

Recently I have been sensing myself drifting. Not slipping away from God, but rather coasting into a mindset that treats ministry as a job instead of a blessed privilege.

What a dreadful thought!
Ministry is not a job. Pastors are not professionals. People are not projects. Tithes are not just paychecks.

Nevertheless I found the Spirit speaking into my life the words of conviction as I began the emotional drift into stagnancy. As I wrestled with this attitude I felt sorrow creep up on me like a dense mid-winter fog. It pressed down on me. It desired to overtake me. It desired to ruin me. The frightening thing is that the fog seemed at times to hint of an origin from within.

Today I sat in my office reading- attempting to set my focus with little improvement. I felt isolated.

Then I heard these words:

I have a maker
He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life was in his hand

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And hears me when I call

I have a Father
He calls me his own
He'll never leave me
No matter where I go

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And hears me when I call

God used these words to snap things into focus. It was as if a beacon of sunlight broke through the clouds penetrating my whole being and dissipating that looming mist.

I have a Maker. He hears me. He sees me. He knows my name.
Admittedly, I'm getting a bit worked up as I write this now.

God, the Creator of all that was and is and is to come, is deeply and passionately interested in me. Do you ever think about this?

Who are we that we would occupy the mind of God Himself? We have assuredly done nothing to warrant his loving attention, yet He freely lavishes it upon us. We need only to receive it.
His love for us is surely deeper than the great void of all space. Even knowing us, He gave His Son. Even knowing that we have and will betray Him, He gave Himself to die so that we won't have to.

He knows the doubts and the worries and the fears. He knows. He knows. He knows.
And He loves with wild abandon.