journal entry two

Why is it that I’m still here? Am I so badly beaten? My heart’s been tried and tested and so often failing. Who am I? Where do I go? How do I get there? Could my life be more uncertain? I scarcely believe it be so. Who am I? Where am I now? God only knows! I am lost within my own life, a stranger in my own skin. I’m new ‘round here- things just aren’t so clear. I can’t see! With your light you’ve shown the path that frees me. The way of my salvation. You’ve shown me how to live and how you love me. But why do I feel so lost now? My direction is so uncertain… Won’t you please just speak to me? Lift this veil. Tear this curtain. Please come near and touch me. I want to see your face- at least your back like the men of much faith. Just lead me from this place. Shed your light on my direction. Flying scrolls, writing on the wall- God, give me something. By your Word I make decisions concerning situations. But how do I know what to be? Where do I find my purpose? Where will I find my heart’s love? I’ve got so many questions… Does this mean I’m doubting? How can it be? I know, I see… I want to bring you glory- for you set me free. Who do I run these circles?

Am I running the right race? I feel like I’m on pace, but still I’m getting nowhere. Would these people trust me if they really knew me? I’m a simple fool, a vile and rotten person. Yet, in me you see something more. Something to die for. Your love is ever reaching- piercing heart and darkness. You died that day to ensure that I may live within your presence. You made me out of nothing and nothing I would remain. But with the sacrifice, the love of Jesus Christ, you gave me your Name. You’ve given me this new freedom, the promise of the New Day. O lord my God, This one thing I ask of you- Please show me your way. Today… show me your way