insomnia

Life is odd. Here I am at nearly 2 o'clock in the morning typing up a post. I'm tired. I really am tired, but I can't seem to fall asleep. The moment I lay my head down upon my pillow I find myself as wide awake as I could possibly be. Why? Who knows? It seems there are nights that I simply can not convince my brain to cease the constant bombardment of thoughts. The concerns of the day scurry about across the ridges and ripples of my mind. Synapses keep firing away like they're waging war against Mr. Sandman and his sweetly peaceful dreams. The day replays in my mind, fast-forwarding through the lulls to dwell on the most significant events a while longer. Conversations buzz in that internal ear. Each idle word or foolish utterance haunts me. Every sin heaps upon my chest and I suddenly become aware of my sin's weight.

But the Lord calms the storms and stills the waves. He does this also for me as I relinquish my feeble attempt to control my life while prone upon my posturepedic perch. It's hard to pull the reigns of my life out of my white-knuckle grip... but what power do I have? I am no God. I don't even have the power to do what I want to do. Instead I do that which I know I should not do. This heart of mine indeed is wicked and surely deceitful. Let go Gregg. Breathe again. Pray. Always pray.

My Lord, forgive me for the sins of my day. Please still my troubled mind and bring me peace. Deliver me from the anxieties I cling to with false hopes of possessing the power to change even the most miniscule detail in my life. You are sure to forgive in your grace, mercy, and love. You also delight in giving rest to those whom you love. Thank you, my Savior, for being my rock and the crafter of my dwelling place. My desire is to abide with you there in accord to your perfect will. Amen