coffee... says it all

Coffee. I can't help myself.
The best part of waking up is Folgers in my cup. Actually, the best part of waking up or taking an afternoon stroll or sitting in a meeting or settling in for the night or visiting a friend or cooking dinner or... you get the idea, the best part is having an excuse to drink some coffee.

Apparently, there are some other notable personalities that have had a deep-seated appreciation for a cup o' joe as well.


“I put instant coffee in a microwave and almost went back in time.”
Steven Wright

"Without my morning coffee I'm just like a dried up piece of roast goat."
Johann Sebastian Bach

"Good coffee should be black like the devil, hot like hell, and sweet like a kiss."
Hungarian saying

"A morning without coffee is like sleep."
Author Unknown

"Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade.
It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten
their masculinity. To women, it's on the same domestic entry level
as putting the spring back into the toilet-tissue holder or taking
a chicken out of the freezer to thaw."
Erma Bombeck

"I have measured out my life with coffee spoons."
T.S.Eliot

"The morning cup of coffee has an exhilaration about it which
the cheering influence of the afternoon or evening cup of tea
cannot be expected to reproduce."
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

"Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
Author Unknown

"Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever."
David Letterman

"I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon."
Ronald Reagan

"Coffee makes us severe, and grave, and philosophical."
Jonathan Swift

decisions, decisions...

I've been doing some thinking lately.
What wanders into my puny mind can sometimes be a bit odd.

For some reason I've been thinking about choices and preferences.
Here are some examples...
(What do you prefer?)

TV: cable or dish?
Ice Cream: chocolate or vanilla?
Sandwich spread: Mayo or Miracle Whip?
Coffee: regular or decaf?
Best TV Girlfriend: Topanga Lawrence or Winnie Cooper?
(I think the guys of my generation will understand this one. Sorry ladies.)
Peanutbutter: creamy or crunchy?
butter or margarine?
Parcel carrier: FedEx or UPS?
Cell phone: "Can't live without it" or "Wish I didn't need it"?
Eating Mac & Cheese: fork or spoon?
Again, Coffee: black or um... not black?
Book series: Lord of the Rings or Chronicles of Narnia?
Bed time: one pillow or two?
Entering your home: shoes on or shoes off?
Are you a: morning person or night person?
sunrise or sunset?
McDonald's: "Good on the go" or "McDeath in a happy little box"?
What do you call it: soda or pop?
Weather: hot or cold?
Pizza crust: thick or thin?
Favorite hangout: Starbucks or Barnes & Noble?
Strolling around: socks or barefoot?
Favorite Duke: Bo or Luke?
Do you prefer receiving: E-mail or "snail mail"?
Naps: mid-day blessing or "It'll just keep me up at night"?

Step Two

Step 2: I came to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity.
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In order to understand the second step of recovery, I think it's important to realize that the second step does not necessarily refer to sanity as it pertains to mental health. Indeed the obvious distinction of the restoration of mental sanity can be drawn here. The standard definition of insanity can be applied appropriately to addictive behavior as addiction can become a repetition of a behavior with the expectation of a different result. However, most times an addict continues using with the intention of achieving the same results he had in prior instances, thus nullifying the relevance of addressing mental sanity in the second step.

In actuality, the original intention behind the second step is to focus on a restoration of wholeness. In referring to sanity in this step, there is the intention to address the significant incompleteness of the individual engaging in addictive behavior. While counseling at Bridgeway I speak with the clients about their addiction as a symptom of a deeper and more significant problem. Indeed addiction is the most obvious symptom of a spiritual deficiency. The addict relies upon his own behaviors and his own ability to self-medicate for the avoidance of pain. Unresolved personal relationships play a great role in the perpetuation of addiction.

With the recognition of the addiction as being a sign that points to more profound underlying issues, the addict is then able to realize that he needs a power greater than himself to deliver him from the ditch he has dug for himself. This power is able to restore him to sanity (wholeness/completeness). For my part, I am certain that the only power that is able to restore anyone to sanity is Jesus Christ. No other thing or person in heaven or earth has the power to fulfill this task. However, God is the One who first created and thus is also the One who is able to make all things new again. This is the very responsibility that Jesus took upon himself through his death and resurrection. You could say that Jesus burdened himself with our insanity in order to provide for the restoration of sanity to those who believe.

Any attempt to place trust in any other higher power will surely fail. There is a difference between sobriety and recovery. Sobriety is often frustrated and tense as it relies upon the strength of human will. Recovery is blessed with joy and peace as it relies upon the will of our Father in heaven.

As an account of my personal walk through the Twelve Steps I will state the following: Until recently I did not have a complete understanding of hope. As I prayerfully have pursued God through these steps I came to realize that I hadn't ever felt hopeless in my life. Before I became a committed follower of Jesus Christ, I thought I was a follower of Jesus Christ. The feelings of hopelessness associated with an eternal separation from God had never registered in my mind because I was always convinced that I was going to heaven. As I sat with my friend Matt and discussed the second step over some cups of coffee, (yes, multiple cups of coffee) I came to understand that feelings of despair and uncertainty within my heart and mind concerning my future have been related to a form of circumstantial hopelessness. My hopeless tendencies are related to my fears concerning anxiety over finding someone to share my life with, somewhere to put down roots and start a career, and some way to fulfill the calling that God has placed on my life as a minister of His Gospel. In each of these situations I have battled the deep-seated fear that I will never be able to experience the joys associated with them. I have the fear that I am not enough or that I have missed my opportunity or that God has decided to withdraw His blessing.

This is a hopelessness. And in the realization of this hopelessness, I rejoice.

Yes! I rejoice!
Because I can now turn to God and see the hope that resides in His being and His Word.

I may not be enough, but God is more than enough.
He is my hope.

I may have missed opportunities, but God's plans are never thwarted. He will bring new opportunities.

I indeed have sinned and perceived distance between me and God, but He is always with me and has the power to restore me to completeness... sanity.

sacred... really?

Let there be no longer a differentiation between that which is sacred and that which is secular in my life. This is my desire. Yes, I have written about this before. You are not losing your mind. I simply want to make a point of clarification regarding my opinion on this matter.

It seems that there is a great many people who are ready and willing to embrace this perspective in saying that all aspects of their life is sacred and directed at the worship of God. However, I have come to realize that of this multitude, there is a majority who would stake claim to sacredness in life on their own terms.

I believe that God reached out to us in His merciful love and that He desires for us to draw near to Him. But I don't ever recall God giving us permission to come to Him on our terms.

I don't doubt that all who are reading this post (both of you) are a bit baffled at this point. Let me explain what I mean...

When I originally posted concerning the sacred quality that God desires for every aspect of life, I also posted a list of the various media influences that had been a significant at that juncture. My point is that whatever we listen to, view, and read will have an impact on our spiritual walk. We must, therefore, give attention to what we ingest within our being. The whole of life is to be sacred. We seem often willing to divide life into subcategories of sacred and secular. Church, Bible study, listening to Michael W. Smith, and the like generally fall under the sacred umbrella. Pretty much everything else is designated secular. Let's be honest, when we designate an area of our life as secular, what we are actually saying to God is, "Keep your hands off!" Come on now... you know that this is true.

So, what our response should be is an act of worship that brings all areas of life under the the intention of living the sacred life. Here is where I return to my original point. Some seem content in living the sacred life on their terms, which is no better and possibly worse than subdividing! As we seek to glorify God in living a life that is wholly sacred, we must come to grips with the fact that not all of our desires, actions, possessions, etc... are actually pleasing to God. He may actually call upon us to change the way we live!

Can we really say that we are living a sacred life while listening to music that defames Christ? Is it sacred to read romance novels that are explicit and borderline pornographic in their description of lovemaking? Is watching movies that are inundated with blasphemy and heresy an act of worship?

Now, before you start calling in the religious thought police and stoking the fires to burn me as a graceless legalistic freak, please understand that I think each person must make their own decisions as based on conviction impressed upon their heart by God. I do understand the viewing or reading of some materials for the sake of being able to know how to accurately respond to the subject's content. All I am saying is that Scripture continues to be the plumb line by which we measure.
Simply put, the life of Christ is our model.

Some would be quick to argue with me that Jesus was a rebel and that he flew in the face of yada, yada... Look. Here's the deal. Jesus showed the error of the extrareligious legalism that prevailed in the day. I encourage us all to continue following in this way. What Jesus did not do was compromise on the true teachings of the Word. He loved God as none has ever displayed upon this earth before or since. He didn't move in the power of the Spirit because he went around calling that which was defaming God a part of his sacred life. He moved in the Spirit because of his unflinching devotion to living a life that was set apart in all ways.

I feel like I'm starting to talk in circles, but I just had to get this off my chest. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

of colors and cones

What is your favorite color?

A common question that I have been asked more times than I could ever begin to count. No doubt you've had the same experience. Often the question is posed by a bright-eyed child who is experiencing the understanding of named colors for the first time. My niece, Paige, has shown an immense fondness for orange. I think that's cool.

Now, let's just say that a child comes to you and asks about your favorite color? What would happen if you responded by speaking of colors such as azure, russet, celedon, or auburn? What if you started describing how you get reds and greens confused because the cones contained within your eye don't perceive them accurately? What if you decided to respond to the question by describing how it's a complex question based on the fact that colors are only our perception of the light spectrum as it is refracted.. blah, blah, blah? You would certainly receive a forlorn look and a response that would call into question whether or not you have any inkling of what a color is.

We commit this exact same foul in the Church. We have those who are not familiar with our Christianese jargon... or those who are just starting to learn of the great depths of God. They come to us seeking conversation or an answer to a question. What is our response? Do we respond with detailed descriptions of theological, doctrinal, and dogmatic principles? Do we use unfamiliar terms such as sanctification, atonement, or revelation?

There is an appropriate time for all things. If I'm speaking with an interior decorator it may be more appropriate to speak of my fondness toward cappuccino colored walls. If I'm speaking to a seminary student or to a mature Christian it may be well received when I speak of Christ's propitiary sacrifice.

Be on guard regarding this. Language is a powerful tool. Know who you are speaking to. Listen and hear. Does this person just want to know your favorite color? Or does she just want to meet this Jesus that died for her?

Step One

Step 1:
I admitted that I am powerless over my addiction and compulsive behaviors, that my life had become unmanageable.

Principle 1:
Realize that I am not God. I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable.

Supporting verses:
"Blessed are the poor in spirit." (Matthew 5:3)

"I know that nothing god lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out." (Romans 7:18)
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Step one. The very beginning. You know, the first time I looked at the Twelve Steps of AA I thought it was a bunch of hogwash. I thought there would be absolutely no relevance to a Christian man such as myself. I realize now, as I write those words, just how inundated with pride that comment is.

Why would I need recovery?

Why recovery? No, I don't have a chemical addiction, but I do have some massive hurts and hang-ups in my life.
We all do. This blog is a part of my recovery process. The first step in working through the process of tackling recovery principles is to admit that I have problems that I can't resolve on my own. I have behaviors, thoughts, and attitudes that prevent me from healing and truly growing in Christ.

I can hardly believe that I'm writing this for all the world to see, but for the sake of honesty and recovery I must admit that I have struggled for quite a long time with pornography. This is the sort of thing that would be easy for me to gloss over or not share. I could rationalize it by saying that most guys struggle with this... But doing these things would only be denial of the actual problem. In the presence of God, I cannot deny my faults. I cannot cover my sins... he sees and knows. I will also say that I have experienced great freedom from this addictive behavior as a result of Christ's power shown in my life. I will not attribute success to the Twelve Steps, but to the redemptive work of Jesus Christ and the power of His Holy Spirit. I will, however, admit that the Twelve Steps have been a great tool in continuing to combat addictive tendencies and to tackle the hurts and hang-ups that continue to be brought to the surface as I seek after the Father.

Beyond addictive sin, I have hurts in my life that have compounded over time and become greater pains than when I first experienced them. I will not go into depth concerning these matters here for the sake of being able to work through the matters with those also involved.

Unresolved conflict and pain can negate our personal spiritual growth. In the light of Christ all things are revealed as they truly are. (1 Jn. 1:5-7)

Denying a wound never aids its healing. Whether are wounds are cause by someone else or self-inflicted, God desires to heal us and make all things new. I... We need to stop denying them.

I may have more to say about this soon, but I think they're ready to kick me out of this coffee shop. Step one hurts. It is painful to look into the mirror and admit your problems. It's difficult to say, "I have an addiction." It's uncomfortable to say that I need help healing from the hurts of past relationships, church experiences, work situations, and foolish mistakes. But we do not give God the room to heal us when we expend all of our energy maintaining the stained glass masquerade of contemporary Christianity.
The fact of the matter is that we do nobody any favors by going to church and putting on our "game face." We speak our Christianese and perform our rituals and we say that everything is fine, but go home to wallow in pain, guilt, fear, anxiety, depression and the like.

Stop denying your pain and your problems. You hurt not only yourself, but the whole of the body of Christ! (Eph. 4:25)

It's time to admit that YOU ARE NOT GOD! Admit, as Paul did, that you know what is the right thing, but still do what is wrong. (Rom. 7:15) Admit that you need help for healing and that you are no longer able to manage your sins and pains. It's okay. You are not alone. The great cloud of witnesses spoken of in Hebrews are not only those who are example of faith, but also of failure. They are men and women who are now viewed as faithful because they turned to God when they were finally able to admit they needed his holy healing.
Recovery and healing await us.

5 am... the rumors are true

This is a first for me. It's 6:45 AM and I'm typing a blog post. What has happened in this crazy universe? This morning was a real breakthrough for me- I discovered that the time turns 5 o'clock twice per day. What an ingenious idea!

I have no idea why I'm up at this time. It really serves no great purpose, but I'll take advantage of it the best I can. I will read, and pray... and type. All good.

Today I will start meeting with my friend Matt to work through the study materials that support the Celebrate Recovery curriculum that the church is using. We'll be working through the studies so that we can then lead our small groups effectively.

So... as a part of this process, I think I will write a weekly post dealing specifically with this Christ-centered and Twelve Step-based study. Hopefully you can see how relevant the twelve steps are to everyone's daily life... not only the life of someone battling chemical addiction.

For the record I will say that I am blessed to not face chemical addiction and substance abuse problems. However, I do have my own hurts, habits, and hangups. Just as you do.
Now wait a second... before you start to think that there is no way the twelve steps might help you... before you get defensive about me lumping everyone in the same bowl as "those addicts,"
please take the time to examine your heart. Ask God to speak to you and show you where you need recovery. Addiction takes many faces. Chemical addiction, sexual addiction, gambling addiction, addiction to overeating, addiction to starving yourself, addiction to shopping or work, addiction to receiving attention... and on and on...
You may go to God and be able to come back and authentically say that you do not deal with any form of addiction. Good. Great! But that doesn't mean you don't need recovery. I had a pastor tell me, "Gregg, we are all in life recovery." I didn't know what he meant, but it always stuck with me. We've all been hurt somehow. We all have acted out sinful behaviors or been involved in a relationship that have left scars on our hearts, minds, and spirits. Maybe these injuries have not healed yet. And perhaps these wounds have brought pain, in one form or another, for years.
You need recovery. I need recovery.

Jesus is about recovery.
God is our healer.
The Spirit holds the power that created the heavens and the earth... he has the power to make all things new yet again.

Celebrate Recovery takes the twelve steps back to their biblical roots. What does this mean? It means that it is relevant to all people. The twelve steps just reassert some major biblical principles in a succinct way.

It is important to remember that the twelve steps are sequential, progressive, and cyclical. Step 3 must build on the foundation laid by working through steps 1 and 2, but it is vital to understand that as one works through step 3, 4, 5, etc... that he can not cease to work through all of the previous steps. It's progressive and cyclical. I had this concept described to me in this way: The twelve steps are like a clock. What happens after twelve? You start back at one.

I think al of this will make more sense as the twelve steps are laid out in the weeks to come. I hope that you may decide to read the upcoming posts and take the opportunity to join me on this subtle revolution of the soul. The world will not change unless I first am changed. I can not change unless I have been changed. There is only one who can change me. He is, always has been, and always will be the Unchangeable Changer. I call him Jesus.

the whirlwind dies down... doesn't it?

The last month has been simply crazy.
Highs and lows... that's the way life goes sometimes. God is the constant and his love still endures forever.

As days and weeks move quickly by I often feel like a gerbil running on a wheel. I can keep running all day long and get nowhere just as fast that way as if I was standing still. This isn't the truth in life though. Sometimes we are blessed with the opportunity to catch a glimpse of the heavenly plan that resides just beyond the thin veil between heaven and earth.

I got a call just yesterday from a man I counseled in Bridgeway. He told me that he has been in treatment more than four times and has never experienced what he is now. He told me of the work that God is doing in his life and the ways that he is actually feeling alive again. This man shared with me the trials he has faced since leaving inpatient treatment and how he has overcome through the strength of God. He cried. And he thanked me for taking the time to get to know him and find how to help him... personally.

A week ago I was speaking with another guy who came through Bridgeway. We were talking about his continued recovery and he shared with me the news of a recent death. One of his roommates from inpatient care at Bridgeway overdosed and died. He told me how shaken he was by the news and how he knew that he could have been right beside his friend if not for God intervening and taking him away from that life.

When I have conversations like these I see that God is truly at work to rescue and redeem the souls of those who would open up to him. It is not that I had really forgotten this truth, but it can be easy to not SEE it even when it is right in front of your eyes.

God is at work.

Sure, my life has been crazy lately. Things at our church have been nuts too. I see this only as the product of the spiritual battle we are engaged in. When we are faithful in sharing God's words of life, freedom, and salvation to those who are in bondage to sin, we will surely encounter the works of the forces of evil. No enemy will sit idle when the captives are set free.

I for one think it is more than worth it to experience trials in my life so that others may experience life in the hearing of the Gospel.

still kickin'

Fear not. I am still alive. Last week I moved into our newly acquired intern house. We haven't gotten access to the internet yet. Hopefully this week! More to come...